Vientiane to the Hot Springs - A long and boring tale of lost passports and then a happy tale of beautiful riding.

May 2nd to 3rd - Vientiane A near disaster and a lot of baguettes

We spent a long time in Vientiane preparing for Chinese visas at great expense, including booking fake flights, getting hotel reservations etc. This took a lot of time late into the evening and early the next morning. You can imagine how pleased we were when we arrived at the embassy and they told us that they weren’t issuing tourist visas until the 22^nd of May, for literally no reason. They shrugged when we asked why. This is late too late for us if I want to start med yr 4 (which I DEFINITELY do) which means no China. No China meant another flight. After very stressy time trying to decide where and when to go, we booked flights to Azjirberjan. The next morning we had our free pancakes for breakfast, packed ready to go, and then realised we (mum) had lost the folder we’d taken to apply for Chinese visas. At first we thought this only had our fake reservations in, and then we remembered our passports… Never mind! We optimistically decleared – they’ll be at the Chinese embassy. We went to the embassy and they had no idea what we were talking about. They said they’d check the video footage and we could come back later. Never mind! We optimistically declared – they’ll be at the café we stopped in on the way back to the hostel. The café hadn’t seen them. Never mind! We optimistically declared – they’ll be in our hostel room! Nope. Never mind! We slightly less optimistically declared, they’ll have been handed in to the immigration police. No. By this point we were getting pretty panicky.

skip very long upcoming boring detail bit if you like, we find them in the end. We looked into getting emergency travel documents as we thought maybe if we could get back on EU soil (love the EU <3 <3 <3 <3) then we could blag it back towards Britain, apply for new passports and get them sent out to somewhere. To get the EDT we needed two forms from two police stations. I set about getting these forms and mum went back to the Chinese embassy. The police stations were a complete joke. The first one I went into was simply an empty room with a fridge in. I hung round a bit and a man came along and just said “no”. I kept pushing and eventually he said “tomorrow 9 o’clock” and went back to playing on his phone.  I decided there was no way this could be the only police station in Vientiane and tried to find another. All I can say is the crime rate must be pretty low because the word in Lao for police is police but everyone looked very blank. Eventually I found a very fancy hotel and went up their elephant statue lined avenue to talk to them. The staff were practically falling over themselves to help me, obviously thinking I was a highly paying guest with a tripadvisor review in progress. They told me where the proper police station was and I went there. This looked a bit more legit from the outside, but I went in to the office and all the police officers were sitting around watching Laos X factor and playing candy crush. What’s more, there was a very small child who was obviously a permenant feature as she had a play area in the corner and a bed. Of all the jobs where it’s inappropriate to bring your baby to work, I’d think police officer would rank pretty highly? I got there at 4:05 but the police station closed at 4:30, and obviously they wouldn’t have time to help us in 25 minutes. (and the current contestant on X factor was pretty banging). I was told to come back at 9 AM. Mum had no luck at the Chinese embassy so we were both feeling very very negative.

The next few hours were probably the lowest of the whole trip so far. We were blaming ourselves for ruining everything and trying to come to terms with a flight back to London. We went out for street food and had food so spicy I got a nosebleed, but I felt like I deserved every drop of blood and all the burning on the back of my throat.

In the morning we went first to the British embassy to find out what our prospects were. The British embassy made me feel terrible, with a massive sign saying GREAT britain and northern island outside. It turns out we didn’t even get to see the ambassador. Mum and I reckoned he’d drunk too much gin in his wicker chair the night before. I read his blog online and it does seem he mostly organises parties. Laos citizens can’t apply for british visas unless they go to Thailand, and he obviously doesn’t help out British nationals in need, so his daily activities are a complete mystery. The Laos woman we spoke to was very very lovely but not nearly on it enough in terms of details. At one point she told us we could get new passports in Thailand in one day! But then it turns out she meant Visas. 

We were trying to skate over some details because an EDT can take you to 5 countries which would take us to EU Bulgaria (love u EU). Very late on in the discussions she told us an EDT can only take you to a country you live in – and you have to provide proof. This meant back to the UK for us (obvs). We resigned ourselves to making a trip back to London to get new passports and then flying back out but this was terrible.The timescale of things was also very very depressing – we had to wait 3 days for a police form (less if you bribe), 3 days for an EDT and 2 days for a Laos exit stamp (how a stamp can possibly take 2 days I will never know, maybe they need a lot of time to position it perfectly on the page, although the last time we exited Laos it took 2 seconds and looks like it’s been measured by a ruler – unbeatable). Basically we were looking at 9 more days in Vientiane, and then a flight to London. Things were getting worse and worse. The thought of flying to London, and then leaving, was also something I was finding it really hard to visualise. Who would we see? Would we go to Farnham? Would we stay with the Eleys? (yes)). We were losing the nicest cycling in Asia and around 2000km. We both tried to maintain resolve and set off to get the police forms in progress. We went back into the police office aka day care centre and during a suitable break in the TV programme they talked to us. With regular breaks to give the baby her bottle and check facebook (I’m seriously not joking) they took our report and gave us a certificate. We took the certificate to immigration police and they told us to come back on Monday, 4 days away. I managed to cry a bit and we offered some money, and they brought it forward to Friday. We made this appointment and went out for coffee and looked up flights to London. The coffee was Nescafé. This was bad. Really really bad. While we were looking up flights, Mum suddenly started crying. It turns out she’d had an email from the british embassy saying the Chinese embassy had found our passports!!!!!!!!!!!! Soon I was crying as well!!! Suddenly the metaphorical sky was blue (although I’ve had enough literal blue sky). We abandoned the Nescafé and went to pack up! At the start of this saga I really did think we'd find our passports, but by the end all hope was lost so the relief was HUGE. 

May 4th - Vientiane to Thangon A bumpy road has never felt so smooth.

We had to wait until it wasn’t so hot before we could leave Vientiane, and on the way we went to see the lovely French bakery who I’d been convinced was hoarding our passports and had been to visit multiple times to harass. The owner was very pleased for us (mainly pleased that the abuse would end) and we bought a celebratory baguette. We then went to the Chinese embassy who couldn’t have been less apologetic. Considering we’d been back several times to check if they had them, and they can’t find many passports belonging white british women – surely it must have been the office gossip? Who found the passports and didn’t do anything about it? Anyway by this stage I was feeling very angry towards China as a nation and felt very pleased we weren’t going there. We set off out of Vientiane north towards the mountains. On our way out we went past Patuaxy – a monument built by Laos to celebrate indepence from France, that looks exactly like the Arc de Triomphe. I’m not sure if somebody’s got an acute sense of irony or what, but it seemed like a strange decision to me.

We didn’t have much light left and decided to cycle as far as we could out of the city heading north towards Vang Vieng. The epicentre of Vientiane is really quite small but the subarbs went on and on and on. WE were doing this at rush hour and were regularly engulfed in swarms of motorbikes which was v scary but the feeling of being on the move again was unendingly joyful.

 Eventually we seemed to get out of the city and we decided to stop. We found a nice guesthouse (we deserved it) and ate… noodle soup! I live in fear of getting one with a foot in (they’re big on feet). This was a nice bowl though. It always comes with a plate of herbs and beans which we never know what to do with. Do we add it to the soup? 

After this we had an early night. It was so so nice going to sleep not inwardly punching ourselves and feeling like the trip was over.

May 5th - Thangon to Huay Moi Mum is an idiot

We left very early, but this was spoilt by Mum cycling 4 kilometres without realising she only had three panniers. I was speechless. How can you forget a pannier?? Her bike must have been so unbalanced? And you can see them when you’re riding?? Anyway I sat down and read while she went back for it. After her extra 8k we set off. We’d heard that the road was full of old country houses and women weaving at looms. (This is from Wayne and Kristina’s blog, an American couple who cycled from Singapore to China. The link is hrere. https://www.crazyguyonabike.com/doc/?o=1mr&doc_id=853&v=1fZ They make us feel really good about ourselves). It turns out things have changed since 2005 as the road was full of new build houses which we think are probably resettled villages from the damns in the Mekong. It gradually became more and more undulating until it actually seemed quite hilly and hard work. At one point we stopped for ice cream and found a dutch medical student we’d friends with at the hostel.  Her minibus had stopped for a break. This was very funny! We kept cycling, stopped for lunch and had… noodle soup. We had hoped to make it to Vang Vieng but after 130km we decided to stop at a beautiful looking lake on the map called the blue lagoon. It turns out the lake had completely dried out which was astonishing as you could see how deep it is after the wet season. We stayed at a $3 guesthouse which wasn’t the nicest, and ate… noodle soup. Here's a picture of the lake in full bloom - it was completely empty for us. 

May 6th - Huay Moi to hot water springs. What it's all about

We set off very early and headed towards Vang Vieng. This was getting more and more hilly, but really really beautiful. I’ve stolen these pictures of the internet because ours are rubbish.

In Vang Vieng we went into a café for breakfast and found the dutch medical student there! We had massive pancakes and coffee to fuel us for the mountains ahead. Vang Vieng is very backpackery and famous for its whisky, you can buy a bottle for $1. We were planning to spend a day there but passport disaster meant we’d run out of time. It’s actually quite a nice place with these crazy karst formations everywhere and a beautiful river. We set off again, nervous of the hills ahead. We had worried about being too hot but instead it rained for ages before a thunderstorm hit. The booming thunder echoing round the mountains and lightning piercing the cloudy sky scared us a bit and we took shelter. When the gaps between the lightning and thunder started increasing we set off again and managed to do our climbing in a nice temperature. This riding was absolutely cracking. The mountains were breathtaking and so green and lush, such a contrast to the usual barren landscape you get at higher altitudes. We passed through tiny villages with lots of SAIBADEEEEEEs and lots of people practising their English. We got a  “good morning teacher”, and lots of “HOW ARE YOU I’M FINE”. We also did a lot of high fiving. We’d read about some hot water springs you could stay at and pushed on until we got there, with a lunch stop for Lao sausages. The springs were beautiful, it was cool enough that hot water was actually welcome and we were high up with a stunning view over the mountains. Honestly cycle touring doesn’t get much better than this. We had pad thai for supper and went to sleep breathing in the sulphur infused clean mountain air.

You'll all be pleased to know mum's lost this hat.

Ps. I hope I've changed the settings so anybody can comment. Nobody has for ages and I'm feeling needy. Love u all.